{"id":22,"date":"2016-08-08T19:49:00","date_gmt":"2016-08-08T17:49:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nouveau.lesexologue.ca\/blog\/2016\/08\/08\/getting-beyond-communication-issues\/"},"modified":"2026-07-27T13:15:08","modified_gmt":"2026-07-27T17:15:08","slug":"getting-beyond-communication-issues","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nouveau.lesexologue.ca\/en\/blog\/2016\/08\/08\/getting-beyond-communication-issues\/","title":{"rendered":"Beyond communication issues"},"content":{"rendered":"

Mind-mapping: Your relationship and improved sexuality<\/span><\/h2>\n
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Alleged communication problems<\/h3>\n
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In a previous article, we explained the different types of mind-mapping<\/a> and how couples used them to pretend to have communication difficulties<\/a>. We will now approach the topic more positively by elaborating on ways to use mind-mapping to resolve conflicts and enjoy better sex. <\/div>\n
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Facing the real difficulties of the romantic relationship<\/h3>\n
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You have realized with your partner your ability to mind-map, which is a good time to be more honest with each other. These skills are not learned in a book or a class, but require the experience of being<\/u> in a relationship. <\/b>Being in a conflict with our partner, we are threatened on two fronts: losing ourselves or our romantic relationship. This dilemma causes people to argue over weeks because they are not able to tolerate both options. <\/div>\n
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It’s a constant war between protecting yourself and the relationship. We want to end the argument by winning and not too destroyed while having our partner who still loves us afterwards. Sometimes we recognize that our behaviors are unhealthy and we just don’t want our partner to use it against us. <\/b>Which we absolutely don’t want, because we want to have the advantage in the relationship.<\/div>\n
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Do you tolerate vulnerability?<\/h4>\n
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No one likes to feel vulnerable and is often perceived as a weakness. Culturally, there is often a tendency to associate it with women, which couldn’t be further from the truth. Any human being can feel vulnerable and we all try to feel it as little as possible. Men and women are no more inclined to be or want to be. On the other hand, women are encouraged to show more of their emotions, but not their vulnerability. <\/b> Most people make the mistake of looking at these things as a whole.<\/div>\n
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Vulnerability in the sense of being deeply intimate with another person requires a very high level of self-knowledge that is solid and flexible <\/b>(self-esteem). It is our ability to recognize who we are and openly disclose the beautiful and not-so-beautiful parts of our personality. It takes courage, not weakness, to unveil the greatest depth of our “inner self”. <\/b>It also takes a lot of strength to stand up when the person we love most uses our vulnerability against us. This unfortunately happens all too often. Let us try to illustrate these words: <\/p>\n

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  • You are expressing one of your sexual fantasies that does not include your partner or that could deeply disturb them. How do you react if he\/she feels hurt or becomes frustrated? <\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
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    • You have had little sexual intercourse in the past year and you tell your spouse that you no longer have sexual desire for him\/her. How do you tell him? How do you feel? Imagine his reaction. <\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
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      • You try to look your partner in the eye during sex. You feel that he\/she is avoiding the gaze. Are you comfortable bringing up the subject? How do you proceed? Are you ready to hear the real answer? <\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n
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        Living with vulnerability; A challenge in itself<\/h4>\n<\/div>\n