It is not uncommon for couples in therapy to present with one partner who is more functional than the other. One of them is categorized as the patient who needs to change to improve the relationship. Sometimes there is a partner who thinks he or she is more mature than the other and regularly blames his or her lover for shortcomings. <\/p>\n
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The first partner is very organized, preparing everything for the family and the couple. She makes sure that everything is in order and that everyone is satisfied. There is no task that is too big or difficult for this person. She has very little time for herself, but that’s okay, because she likes to help. She is often valued and impresses others<\/strong> with her energy, devotion and motivation to undertake everything. <\/p>\n The other partner is rather disorganized and often forgets daily. He\/she has difficulty managing children or planning a social event. He or she can be very social and become the entertainment at parties, but he or she does not have the ability to plan this one. When he tries to help, it often ends up being a disappointment. He\/she tends to be demanding of their partner in terms of sexuality. <\/p>\n <\/p>\n The couple that everyone knows. One of the partners lives his emotions fully and strongly to the point of having no control over them and the second who is perceived as the calm and sure of himself. The emotional partner needs to be reassured regularly and would like his or her better half to be more open to the emotional and intimate levels. This person is looking for a fusional intimacy to feel a strong connection with their lover. <\/p>\n The rational partner finds that the couple would benefit from more satisfaction if they had less emotional outburst<\/strong> from the other. He\/she loves their relationship, but the impression of being in a minefield of emotion is regularly felt. <\/p>\n <\/p>\n You will easily realize that this couple has difficulty matching their level of sexual desire in quantity and quality. Adventure and curiosity are essential traits to the sexuality of the sex maniac where he\/she would like to try everything in their sexual relationships. On the other hand, the more prudish person often has reluctance and does not dare to leave his comfort zone too much.<\/strong> This person likes to make love romantically and with a lot of affection. The other is ready to have sex at any time and jump at every possible opportunity to have it. <\/p>\n <\/p>\n You may have recognized yourself in one of the case stories where you have your own situation. One of you considers yourself more mature or functional than the other. However, as a general rule, romantic relationships bring partners of the same level of maturity together. In fact, the dynamic remains in balance when one of the partners remains dysfunctional. This process is called borrowed functioning*.<\/strong> <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Couples develop systems to keep the relationship in balance. These systems allow each partner to camouflage their insecurities and shortcomings. We therefore have the impression that one of the partners is more mature and stable than his or her spouse. When the “less” mature<\/strong> partner matures, it destabilizes the other who tries to take back his position of the “more”<\/strong> mature partner. Often in couples therapy<\/a>, it is possible to observe this dynamic where the “mature” partner becomes disorganized, because he\/she can no longer obtain the value he\/she obtained in the old dynamic. She then tries to regain balance by destabilizing the other partner again. <\/p>\nType #2: The rational couple and the emotional<\/h3>\n
Type #3: The couple of the prude and the sex maniac<\/h3>\n
What kind of couple are you?<\/h3>\n
Borrowed operation<\/h4>\n