After an infidelity, the trust that was gained in the couple largely evaporated following the disclosure. We must also mourn the image we had created of our relationship and our partner. We look at life, relationships, our values and the love we had for our lover. This grief is experienced differently depending on the couple and the person who learns from an infidelity.

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Some couples continue their relationship where jealousy, possessiveness and lack of trust in each other reign. The cuckolded person is constantly investigating and questioning to maintain a false sense of security that will never happen again. On the other hand, she gives herself the hope that one day she will be able to trust the other once again. This dynamic often traps the relationship in an environment where individual freedom is thin and makes the relationship suffocating.

In this dynamic, we often find recurring conflicts over infidelity and jealousy that recur on a regular basis. The same arguments, accusations and justifications bounce back and forth over and over again to put the couple in a perpetual emotional impasse . The cuckolded person brings the conflict back to every opportunity to justify their own behaviors that harm the relationship.

These couples are often unhappy, but they are unable to end the relationship or move on to another stage. They become prisoners of their insecurities and maintain the marital dissatisfaction that most likely led to infidelity.

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Infidelity is one of the main reasons for relationship separation and divorce. Some will quickly make this decision once the truth comes out, without having taken the time to discuss it or understand what led to the deception.

This often leaves traces and scars for future relationships where the feeling of trust towards the other is fragile and difficult to build. We spend our time remembering the infidelities of our former partner and we project our insecurities of abandonment onto the next ones. We ended the relationship and finally continued the dynamic with another person.

Other couples break up because they don’t see how to get over this betrayal and realize that their relationship needs were too different. They came to one agreement that separation was the solution to be implemented and that the wounds would heal on their own.

How are you going to get out of this situation?

 

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Going through infidelity and reaping benefits for one’s relationship and sexuality seems to be a foreign and absurd concept. However, many relationships find a more fulfilled, passionate sexuality and engender an awakening to a sleeping couple by bringing both partners back to life after an infidelity.

When you take the time to confront yourself and engage in difficult discussions about infidelity, you can learn a lot about yourself and your partner. We can rectify dissatisfaction and stop taking the other person for granted. We enjoy more moments of intimacy and we are more connected and sexually present with the other. We become aware of what we could have lost and what we could still lose; if we don’t take care of ourselves, the other person and our relationship.

We also realize that our partner will never be able to completely reassure us and meet all our needs. The “Disney” vision of the couple where they married, had children and lived happily for the rest of their lives is not a reality, but a beautiful illusion.

 

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Accepting a new vision of your relationship