We all have peculiarities in the way we like to get sexually aroused and experience our sexual pleasure. It is our Modes of Sexual Arousal (M.E.S.) that determine our ability to modulate our sexual arousal and increase our sexual pleasure. The variations in the laws of the body (speed of our movements, muscle tone and the space used by our body) determine our M.E.S. The type of nerves stimulated will also vary the M.E.S. There are the deep nerves that require significant pressure or muscle contraction to activate a stimulation. The superficial nerves are found on the surface of the skin and are stimulated by light touches on the body.

There are countless variations for sexual arousal, but it is possible to categorize them into five (5) different modes of sexual arousal. Each of these modes has strengths and limitations that can be used in different contexts to meet our current sexual need.

The archaic mode is often found at the beginning of sexual development in children. It mainly requires stimulating the deep nerves by strongly contracting the muscles in the genital area (thighs, pelvics, glutes, abdominals). The movements of the person using this M.E.S. are restricted and their breathing, usually in the chest, is jerky. Sexual arousal rises quickly during masturbation, but sexual pleasure can be more difficult to feel because there is little fluidity in the body. It is not uncommon for people to have muscle cramps (unpleasantness) during stimulation, especially when they are trying to reach orgasm.

Women practicing this M.E.S. will often find themselves on their stomach masturbating or will place an object (sheet ball, pillow, doggie, etc.) between their legs. Some will reach orgasm by contracting only the muscles and using sexual fantasies. These women will rarely enjoy penetration, as the contraction of their pelvic muscles closes the opening of the vagina and gives the impression of being already “filled”. So the sensation of a penis or object inside their vagina gives them little sexual pleasure and sexual arousal. The clitoris will be stimulated by some women with strong pressure either with the fingers or a jet of water (shower head or bath tap).

Men who tend to squeeze their penis tightly in their hands practice archaic M.E.S. They stimulate the deep nerves of the glans and contract the muscles surrounding the genitals. They quickly reach an orgasm during masturbation, but they can easily lose the erection during penetration or anejaculation because neither the vagina, nor the mouth, nor the anus can reproduce the same sensation in their penis.

This M.E.S. is often used in childhood and more often in adult women than in men. It has the advantage of achieving strong sexual arousal, achieving a quick and even multiple orgasm in women. However, it can cause erectile difficulty in men or difficulty in achieving orgasm in both sexes during penetration.

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Some individuals will stimulate themselves in a more mechanical way, which is where the name of the next M.E.S. comes from. This mode requires stimulating the superficial nerves, therefore a lighter touch of back and forth on the genitals (penis, vulva, clitoris or vagina). Achieving an orgasm is often accompanied by an increase in speed and consequently a greater tone of the muscles of the upper body (arms, shoulders, pectorals, etc.). The movement generally becomes automatic and mechanical, which does not allow you to be as awake to the variations of the body’s sensations as other M.E.S. In addition, the movement of the pelvis is rather restricted and the breathing is thoracic and jerky.

This typically male mode, but also used by many women, allows you to obtain rapid sexual arousal and thus an orgasm. In men, there is generally a back-and-forth stimulation with the hand closed around the penis while women will stimulate their clitoris with one or more fingers and a lighter touch than the archaic mode. One of the variants in women requires stimulating the entrance to the vagina by penetrating with your fingers or an object.

People who use mechanical S.E.S. often have difficulty maintaining the tension that is created during sexual arousal. Men who ejaculate quickly during the stimulation of oral, vaginal or anal penetration. They have not developed the ability to modulate their sexual arousal by diffusing it elsewhere than to the genitals. The woman will also need to stimulate her clitoris during penetration, which is not always easy depending on the positions chosen. As muscle contractions are less at the pelvic level, penetration is not greatly felt, because the vagina does not caress the penis as other MESs will do.

Sex, the Body and the BrainRAPID EJACULATION PROGRAM

 

*concepts inspired by the sex-body approach

Learn more about the author

François Renaud M.A.
Sexologist & Psychotherapist Downtown Montreal